tomato soup

I know you need to
Breathe through
Come back
Come to
-The New Pornographers, Adventures in Solitude

Oh well, it's been pretty crazy around here since you heard from me last.

Two wednesdays ago, on the 13th, my very dear friend Hayley was found unconscious on the floor of her friend's house in North Van, barely breathing. She was intubated, brought to Lion's Gate Hospital and admitted to the ICU there where she spent the better part of the week in a coma. I won't get into the details in this space, but despite a pretty bleak prognosis in ICU, Hayley woke up on thursday and has been slowly recuperating. She's out of the ICU now and line-free (no iv's, ng tubes, catheters), walking around. She's still pretty confused but recognizes everyone, and is talking, reading and piecing everything together.

The whole experience has been quite difficult of course (having a good friend almost die, trying to study/write my surgery exams), but it has also been a learning process for me. It doesn't matter how much you try to understand things from the "other side of the bed", it's pretty much impossible until you are actually there. It's been tricky trying to decide what role to take, especially while sleep-deprived and emotionally incapacitated. How to be helpful at interpreting the jargon and clarifying things for the family while not interfering with her care, or speculating on prognosis or why she ended up there in the first place. I still have my get-out-of-jail-free "I'm just a medical student" card, but for better or worse, that won't last forever. At any rate, I am sure I will be in a similar situation again and it will be just as challenging. I just hope the next time isn't too soon.

a spry octogenarian

the universe works on a math equation
that never even really ever ends in the end
-Neverending Math Equation, Modest Mouse

I'm in the process of trying to reacquire much of the music I lost when my computer *ahem* expired last December. It's bringing my ongoing internal debate re: music acquisition to the forefront. I've gone through many different stages and personally imposed rules about buying vs downloading (stealing) music since Napster first blew the doors open in 1999. Right now I'm on some combination of purchasing cd's, vinyl, mp3s and getting the same thing for free using bittorrents. I like to think I support the bands that need the help and that the amount I spend on albums and concert tickets is a more than ample contribution to the music industry.

Often, it's a pretty clear cut system. I bought the new Joel Plaskett and downloaded Abbey Road. Does Michael Jackson still get all the royalties from the sale of Beatles albums? Who knows-but you get the idea. It's getting more and more difficult, however, as I listen to more and more small Canadian bands. I just feel so guilty taking the music at will as these independent artists struggle to squeak by. On the other hand, there is no way my bank account could even remotely keep up to my listening habits. So should I just start listening to less new music? That seems kind of counter-productive.

I won't attempt to broach the whole vinyl vs. cd vs. mp3 debate as it's pretty irrational. I can't even fit my record player into my apartment, and I'm still tempted to buy vinyl. It's dumb, I know.

It will be interesting to see how/if the record companies figure out how to deal with P2P downloading. I personally don't think they will anytime soon, but who knows, they may solve this problem for me.