interup

Everyone likes baseball. Everyone likes parks.
-Javier Rodriguez, Traffic

This morning was one of those times when you wake up and are so tired your brain tries desperately to invent ways that you don't actually have to get out of bed. This morning, it seemed so dark and cold that I started to think that my housemates had played a trick on me and set my clocks an hour ahead. Of course, as the cobwebs slowly cleared, I realized that hypothesis wasn't very plausible. I hiked up the lions yesterday, which was beautiful, but my body definitely needed a few more hours in bed to recuperate. Sitting in lecture today reminded me of pretty much every lecture I went to in undergrad, where I was so tired it was painful. Why did I stay up so late all the time? Seems like cruel and unusual punishment to inflict on oneself.

Just started hematology block today. I think I've figured out that the level of confusion I feel about a paticular subject dictates how excited I am to learn about it. I've been pretty confused about different types of anemias and what they mean, so this should be a good block.

On the way back from the hike on sunday, there was an accident on the Lion's Gate bridge, so we had to take the 2nd Narrows around. I guess it was better than us having an accident actually on the Lions themselves, but I have a hard time dealing with traffic. I think with most of my other frustrations, I manage to keep them in check by telling myself to accept the things that I'm unable to change. With traffic, however, I guess I feel like it is something I don't want to have to put up with, and hope to get away from later in my life. I don't want to become complacent with spending hours of my day on the road. Vancouver has done a great job of providing disincentives for people to drive their cars, but unfortunately has not done enough to provide people with viable alternatives. This term, my family practice placement is in Langley, which takes about an hour to get out to and almost 2 hours to get back from (due to traffic over the Port Mann). So far I've been spending 3 hours transit time for 1.5-2 hours of patients. argh. Although I'm happy with being in Vancouver for a multitude of other reasons, when I'm sitting on the highway, I start to think that maybe the UVic or UNBC programs would've been an alright fit for me.

This is the view from the side of the East Lion, looking North I think towards Howe Sound.

delivery

and anyway
Susan
if you like
our conversation
is as faint a sound
in my memory
as those fingernails
scratching on my hull
-The Tragically Hip, Nautical Disaster

I've been pretty affected by the shootings in Montreal. I don't think I'm able to articulate any ideas on the subject, but I'm not sure if things like this need any more commentary. I'm not sure assigning blame has ever helped anyone.

I was recently notified that a book I requested at the beginning of the summer is now available. It's a thick book called "The Great Transformation" about the beginnings of the 4 major religious and philisophical traditions. Namely, Buddhism/Hinduism, Confuscianism/Daoism, Monotheism, and philisophical rationalism. I've started reading it and it's very interesting, but I think it's going to be next to impossible to make more than a dent in it before I have to return it in two weeks.

One interesting "useless" fact I've learnt is that the word "Caucasian" is derived from the Caucasus region in Europe (it's also a mountain range), where I guess a bunch of white people came from. Right now I'm reading about the Aryans, living there around 900 BC.

Sarah, Trev, Courtney, Carolynn and I are going to see Final Fantasy tomorrow. Should be a very different type of show. Also of note, Sarah found out Gomez is coming to town and we have tickets to see them in October. Very exciting.

"nature" vs "nature"

and now from Regina, Saskatchewan-the city that rhymes with fun
-Grant Lawrence, CBC Radio 3 podcast

Kind of crude, but I thought it was really funny. Sometimes I forget how much my opinion of funny depends on me not expecting the punchline.

Seriously though, if you enjoy Canadian music, especially "indie" Canadian music, you should check out this podcast. It's great! I put "indie" in quotation marks because I'm not exactly sure what it means these days when a million people make albums on their laptops. I guess it's stuff that's not on regular radio. But seriously, who listens to "radio" anymore. Why would I listen to advertising when I no longer have to? That time I used quotation marks to show my disdain for "radio".

Every now and then, my computer connects with its mothership and downloads some updates of various kinds. Usually this means that you have to restart your computer and the application that was "updated" runs exactly the same as before. Today, however, my iTunes was updated and a number of changes were immediately apparent.

1. The music notes in the icon are blue now. I missed the green at first but I'm now getting used to it.
2. iTunes will download all your album art for you, even stuff you didn't buy from them.
3. This is especially important because they've included a new way of browsing through your albums that is kind of like actually flipping through albums. So cool!

I think this new development may actually allow me to reconcile my music buying conundrum.

I have always liked having the actual, physical albums. Mostly because of the artwork, and the back-up copy in case of computer crashage. Also, I still have the perhaps antiquated notion of having a music "collection", rather than just an assortment of random songs. Anyhow, this new iTunes feature really makes it seem like you are leafing through your collection, which I like.

Apparently there are kids t-shirts with "iPoo" on the front in the same font as "iPod". If my cousins neva and hugh weren't growing up at such lightning speed in my absence, and most likely gaining control of their bowels, I would purchase one for them.

It's raining now. This is significant because other than a short sprinkle last weekend, it hasn't rained in Vancouver since i can remember. Great to defray my seasonal affective disorder, but not so great for the risk of everything lighting on fire.

Speaking of which, I was walking behind a woman yesterday who finished her cigarette, stomped on it, checked to make sure it was out, and then left it on the sidewalk. I've never really figured out how cigarette butts are not considered "litter". Anyhow, I really wanted to pick it up and give it back to her, saying something like "Sorry, is this yours?", as if she had just dropped her wallet. I was in pain due to a Charley Horse, late for class, and in a general state of agitation, which at times leads me to do or say inappropriate things that I regret later. Upon reflection, I've decided that this was, indeed, a good idea, and that given another opportunity, I shall go ahead and hand someone their butt. I'll let you know how it goes.

Ok, I lied, I'm still not used to that blue iTunes icon. I want the green one back.

To continue with the disjointedness.

I have been using lots of quotation marks to highlight a trend in society to overuse these bits of punctuation. My theory is that the excessive usuage was triggered by the "laser" joke, used in the 1st Austin Powers movie. I've seen all sorts of inappropriate punctuation in various publications and signage recently. I'm trying to think of examples. I can't. I did remember today, however, that there can be two types of ectopic tissue in a Meckel's Diverticulum that can cause ulcers in that structure, namely gastric and pancreatic. So there. This prompted one of my classmates to congratulate me on being smart as we both used our respective urinals in a very colourful washroom after class. He is the only guy in our class of 250 that I have ever seen smoke a cigarette (something my dad actually doesn't believe). Maybe I'll tell him to pick up his butts. Maybe not so disconnected.

When I first started writing this blog, I was pretty self conscious about the whole thing and wasn't interested in anyone finding out. I even picked a name that was obscure and difficult to spell. I'm pretty much over that now and ready for even my parents to have access. It's a good exercise to just write how you are feeling, knowing that the people you are writing about could potentially be reading your entry.

I think the moral of this entry is that I should try and be blogging more regularly and maybe the entries won't be so long and disjointed.

I've started a little art project in my house where I'm taking a head shot of every person that comes to this house. I like adding photos, so maybe I'll start posting one with each entry. Well, maybe I should get people's consent. This one is of Trevor (my housemate), I don't care if he gives consent.

ping pong

Instead of a war on poverty, they've got a war on drugs so the police can bother me
-Tupac Shakur

I learnt recently that the metre is one one millionth of the distance from the equator to the north pole.

Settling now into school. Routines make dealing with life alot easier. You can just sort of roll around on autopilot and not think too much about why you are going where you are going. Since I've started school, I've taken no pictures, read less (non-medical material), written less and have communicated the bare minimum with family and friends. Seems silly.

My tutor this block has an incomplete understanding of the theory behind PBL which is making the whole process very difficult. A well meaning and kind man who truly believes he knows what's best for us. A good lesson that you can be as good-intentioned as you want, but if you are out of touch with the people, nothing good will come out of it.

I went to an orientation today to work at a clinic in the Downtown Eastside, just shadowing like we already do in family practice. We went on a little walking tour with a dude who is part of the community. I've been there once before, but had not really taken a good look around and I have to recommend it to anyone visiting/living in Vancouver. It's a place with alot of pain and suffering but alot of humour as well. I was impressed with the community. Everyone knows eachother and is openly friendly, even to us obvious outsiders. Regardless, it is a truly unique place. I went out to Langley on friday for my family practice, and for all I knew, I could've been in White Rock, or Ladner, or Coquitlam or whatever. I was nervous the first time I was down there, and still felt a little on edge today, but rationally there is not much to be worried about, walking around in broad daylight. I realized that I was probably feeling uneasy just because there are so many people around who don't subscribe to the rules of society. Sometimes I get annoyed by societal norms and rules, you know, like having to wear clothes and not being able to sing or talk to yourself, but in the end, it's a pretty useful tool for regulating behaviour. Anyhow, if you really think about it, it's not like you're going to get robbed or stabbed by a needle, it's just the fear of not knowing what the people around you are going to do.

Family Practice should be good this term, minus my preceptor is of the old and burntout/bitter variety. He has already told us to specialize and says things like "Patients like that just make you want to jump out the window don't they?". I thought he had some pretty funny patients. We even had a guy in with ehler's danlos syndrome. So even if you didn't care about the people, there's some pretty neat pathology as well. Anyhow, he's old, but it's hard to not be discouraged from family practice.

The Dalai Lama is in Vancouver today. A few people are going to see him speak but the talk is at gm place. No thanks.

laundree laundray

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong
-Betrand Russell

Do you ever have repetitive thoughts or sayings in your head that have no explicable origin?

Sounds like an infomercial for an exorcist.

I do. For instance, when I am bored in lecture or falling asleep. Let me rephrase that. When I'm falling asleep, I often have images of people swinging things, over and over. Usually golf clubs, baseball bats or swords. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's someone more used to swinging things (like tiger woods). The funny thing is that I'm really not good at any sport that requires a swinging motion.

Also, when I'm doing work around the house, I often repeat things in my head. Like when it's time to do laundry, I always say "laundree, laundray". Usually I don't actually enunciate these words, but it definitely goes through my head.
Weird.

I've been having a fantastic long weekend and am just settling down to read a little about the upper gi tract.

The ribs were delish and followed up by a few gin martinis. Had a fun time playing Origins, a board game I was given a long time ago that involves guessing a certain cliche, custom, name or invention once given the origin. You end up learning interesting "useless" facts. Por ejemplo, that the word "news" is derived from the 4 points of the compass, as it means to receive information from all directions.

I hiked up the mountain on Bowen Island with Jazz, Julia, Jordan, Heather and Amira. After the hike, we were invited to Julia's house in West Van for a fresh salmon dinner. Upon arrival, we had a swim in Julia's pool after rinsing the dust off and her dad brought me a beer as I was relaxing in the hot tub. Not long after, her aunt showed up with some appetizers and I found myself sipping on a corona, eating yummy food in a hot tub while looking out over the ocean. It was a nice way to end the day.

This morning, I was recertified to pump on people's chests if their hearts stop beating.

I have continued thinking about international health this weeknd and discussing it with Courtney. I've realized that I will most likely end up doing some short, disaster relief missions, but mostly send money to worthwhile projects. I just think now that either you raise funds and provide help in disaster relief, or you move to Africa and work there for the rest of your life. Although at times I feel so guilty about my north american lifestyle, I guess I don't really know yet why I'm here or what I should do with myself. I have some idea, but I've never really been sure about anything.

m.b.,b.s.,m.sc.,f.a.c.s.,f.r.c.s.(c)

Old White Guys! Holding you down since.......always
-Golden Words Poster

Fridays mean something again for the time being. Jordan is coming over and we're gonna make ribs. Well, I've already made the ribs. Jordan is gonna come over and I'm going to put the ribs in the oven.

School is off to a quick start. Lots of material has already been covered and it's not even labour day. I'm not really stressed, but it is a stark contrast from my life only one week ago. I definitely feel like I have suddenly accelerated. I guess the trick is to manage this without letting your time slip by you. I find it's easy to spend your weeks looking forward to the week-end and each looking forward to the next. Days of studying and social events seem long, but when the next year rolls around, I wonder where the time went.

Our afternoon workshop was on International Health. I have participated in some volunteer projects in the developing world and thought alot about the whole situation but still haven't come up with any real opinions on what aspects are good ideas and what are bad ideas. It seems too easy for any sort of aid to end up being entirely useless or even harmful. I sometimes even have a problem with the whole issue of charity. I'm reading a collection of essays by Bertrand Russell where he argues that most men in business are "more anxious to keep foreigners poor than to make themselves rich". This is a bold statement, but it's hard not be pessimistic sometimes about why things are the way they are. International Health, even when done properly, seems to be so inconsequential to people's well being when you work in or take an indepth look at the problems of the developing nation. Medical work is important but the real issue is organization. Policy. Trade. I guess it can be considered that any help given will be an extra push to get a country on it's feet.

At any rate, I will have to decide sometime how much involvement I will have with international health. There are many opportunities but they are so difficult to evaluate. It seems like the main problem, once you've decided the idea itself is valid, is the time commitment. Any worthwhile project will take years of dedication and work, if not a lifetime. Is it worth it to sacrifice so much for something of questionable impact or value?