rando brando, f-cells and the lychee nut

the characters don't talk or move around
-Every Name Is My Name, Matthew Good Band

Things seem to be more or less in a holding pattern.

Med school post-CaRMS is bizarre. Well, maybe it's just been this march that has been weird. Many people are out of town on electives and Courtney has been extremely busy on her vascular surgery rotation. The weather has been volatile and cold. Hematology has been interesting but I'm over it (tomorrow is my last day). I knew this already, but I'm not someone who could do a sub-speciality. I'm already bored by seeing the same thing over and over again.

I start an emergency rotation at VGH on monday. I'm looking forward to improving my skills and seeing some sick people hopefully.

mr pg

As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know.
-Donald Rumsfeld

In follow-up to today's earlier post.

We matched to the UBC Prince George Family Medicine program. No matter what, getting the results is a bit of a shock, but we're really happy with what we got.

CaRMS is a funny system because when you match- that's it. You painstakingly put together your application, spend lots of money travelling around the country and deliberate over a list, but once you submit that list (which we did a few weeks ago), there isn't anything left to do. This morning, we opened up our online file and got our match results. It's not like an offer we can accept or decline, it just means we're going to Prince George for 2 years. In the words of CaRMS, it is a "binding contract".

So I think no matter what result you get, it's kind of a weird moment, because your relatively immediate future, which a few seconds previous had looked relatively fuzzy, suddenly becomes quite clear. CaRMS just messes with you a bit because they force you to rank your choices. I think it's a good system that they have, but once you actually make a numbered list, it's hard not to feel a little dissapointed when you don't get your top choice.

Our first two choices were Kelowna and Prince George Rural (which means your travel around for the 2nd year) and because we were couples matching, we weren't really expecting to get our top choice, as the Kelowna program is quite competitive. The PG Rural program only had 3 spots, so that was kind of dicey as well.

At any rate, this is turning kind of rambly. The point is that after an initial adjustment period, we are quite excited about what we got. There are alot of positives to the program we got, which include

- Not having to move around during the 2nd year
- Having medical students around to teach
- Good family practice clinic set up
- ICU rotation in 2nd year
- It is a new place for both of us

It was number 3 on long list of 40+ possibilities, so we are stoked.

2 bedrooms and a den

Match results are in. We are going to Prince George for residency. It was our 3rd choice.

parallel parking as painful entertainment

I don't believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.
-T.S. Eliot

"So, do you feel older?"

You may have gotten this question before on one of your birthdays and been less than impressed with your interviewer.

When you're a kid, I think you identify strongly with your age. Despite this, I don't remember ever answering 'yes' to that question when I was in grade school. Once you get past your mid-twenties, however, I think age becomes less of an issue, and consequently you don't think about it as much. I often end up having a hard time remembering if I'm 27 or still 26. Sometimes I have to do the math. Anyhow, because of this, I end up thinking more about my age on my birthday, and it usually surprises me to realize how old I actually am. As a result, I've actually answered yes to that silly question on my last few birthdays.

I've been thinking about this because even though my birthday is still pretty far off, I'm feeling older these days. I don't mean more tired or jaded or whatever, just....older. There have been signs that are hard to ignore. I've noticed my friends have started wearing collared shirts even when they don't have to. I've been astonished by the number of times the word "like" is peppered in the conversations of teenagers, and how removed I feel from the stuff they're talking about. I've started wondering about my salary next year, and how best to pay off my debt.

And then there are the obvious things. I'm getting married. I will no longer be a student (I paid my last installment of tuition, and took my last major exam this month). I'm getting some different letters in front of (or behind) my name in a few months. Other people's expectations and your own self-image change with all this.

So I actually have this sensation of aging somewhat rapidly. It's weird I guess, but not unwelcome. Since being a teenager, I've worried that I might stop evolving. So I'm happy things are changing and I'm growing older. We'll see how I feel at my next birthday.