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Dr Julian Bashir: So what do you want me to do?
Dr. Zimmerman: Just stand there and look like a doctor- if you can
-Doctor Bashir, I Presume?, Deep Space Nine

I'm currently on my last 12 hours or so of a 72 hour stint of call for pediatrics. It has been busy at times, but overall quite reasonable. Our house is just 3 blocks from the hospital, and peds is home-call, so it's really not so bad.

I've been loving residency so far, and am very happy about our choice to train in Prince George. In short, it's great to be in a small town again, and it's great to be working in a smaller hospital for residency. It's amazing how much more fun work can be when you aren't constantly having to learn in a place where everyone is annoyed with you as a default condition.

Since I've started, other than thinking a lot about how rusty I am, and how much I have to learn, I've been considering how to make myself seem more like a doctor, and in general how people identify doctors in the hospital. The first patient I saw as a doctor just stared at me after I introduced myself and exclaimed "How OLD are you?"

Nowadays, almost everyone wears scrubs, and it's often impossible to figure out what roles people play in the hospital. Courtney saw one of the family doctors that works in the office a few days ago and called out- "Hey, you must be Bill!", as she thought he was one of the IT support people.

I'll save a discussion on the merits of using titles and dress to decide how much deference to use with someone for another time.

For now, I will just make a list of ways to make yourself seem more like a doctor.

1. Call yourself Doctor. I find I still introduce myself by my first name, but if the situation warrants it, I now say that I am "one of the resident doctors working tonight". I think this adequately explains that I am in fact a doctor, but still training.

2. Wear a white lab coat. Unfortunately, this is not done on pediatrics rotation so I am unable to use this obvious boost to my ward cred.

3. Wear a stethoscope. Many people in a hospital wear a stethoscope, however, if you asked the average person to list 3 words when you show them a picture of a stethoscope, I would guess "doctor" would come up before "respiratory technician".

4. Be an (old) man. Despite the fact that medical school enrollments have typically had more females than males for quite a while, there are still more men in medicine. This will change soon however. Someone recently told me that in a few years, there will be more female doctors in Canada than male.

5. Wear a collared shirt. If you've hit some of the other criteria, this is not always necessary, but tends to be one of the most reliable indicators of whether someone you are meeting is a doctor or not. Add a tie and you are gold.

6. Look disheveled. Especially while on call. This may not get you any respect from the people you are working with, but typically the more unshaven and haggard, the better.

7. Discuss physiology. Combine one organ and one hormone in a sentence and this tends to impress people.

8. Drink coffee. Making a joke about maintaining your serum levels of caffeine "in the therapeutic window" gets you extra points.

Last night, as I was leaving the hospital in scrubs and carrying a skateboard at 0400hrs, I overheard a woman in early labour who was pacing the halls remark....

"Hey, that doctor rides a skateboard"

So I must be doing something right.