alternate title: uncertainty

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
-Franklin D Roosevelt

My week at BC Children's Hospital doing Pediatric Urology was awesome. I learned some practical things (how to treat phimosis) and some not so practical things (how to do an epispadias repair). Actually, probably the most practical thing was that I got back in the swing of dictating notes again.

Anyhow, that's neither here, nor there. What is here is CaRMS interview season. It starts on tuesday when I do my Dalhousie interview and streeeeeches all the way to Feb 11th when I end with my Queen's interview in Kingston. This year, Dal is actually moving around and doing interviews in a variety of locations, including Vancouver. If we hadn't recently been to Halifax, I think I would be more keen on actually going there for the interview to suss it out, but for us, it's perfect that they are coming here. Also, Dalhousie isn't very high on our list, so it's nice that we get one warm up interview before UBC next weekend.

I've always had a problem with interview anxiety. I really shouldn't be that anxious, considering that Courtney and I are both good candidates, we would be happy doing our residency in a variety of different places, and we are both applying to family medicine, which along with with internal medicine and psychiatry, is not very competitive. People say that for Family Practice, it's really you that is going around and interviewing the programs, and that they should be trying to win you over. Unfortunately, however, I'm still nervous, which is bad, because what makes me nervous is that they will ask me a question that I won't have a good answer for. And when I'm nervous, I'm much more likely to blank out on a question. So it's a vicious cycle, or circle or whatever. It's not that I'm worried that I will screw everything up and have to live in northern manitoba for two years, it's just that moment of not being able to answer that is so excruciating for me.

In reality, the interviews will go fine. Some will be better than others, but there isn't too much I can do to change it. Right now I'm trying to forget about my interview fear and focus on the fact that this is a good excuse to fly around the country, see old friends and visit new places.